Upon coming home from watching Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World my housemate, colleague and (if he had the correct genitalia) would-be lover Joe succinctly and eloquently summed up the film thus; “Visually the film is stunning. 10 out of 10 for the look. 5 star quality, fight choreography. The problem is…Scott Pilgrim is a film for wankers.”
This Bob-omb shell left me a little shook up. My diminutive friend’s opinion is usually bang on the money leaving me with a lose-lose situation. When watching Edgar Wright’s latest I’ll either be faced with the crushing disappointment of a film I’ve been looking forward to for a long time being a bit shit, or in the eyes of my good buddy I’ll be, “a wanker”.
This weekend sees the release of action spectacular The Expendables. Truth be told it’s a more than adequate, enjoyable, fun, balls to the wall action movie. But nestling in that, rather high praise for Sly and co’s latest, is a derogatory word. Movie. Not film, movie. Action has been, and always will be, placed into the bracket of ‘movie-dom’ by people, well, people like me. Yet there are examples of pulse-racing, sweat producing, explosion-exploding films that have every right to be put on a par with their dramatic counterparts.
Debates of what constitute a ‘film’ rather than a ‘movie’ (basically anything that a pretentious wanker like me can stroke their oversized beard too) and action (over 13% of the running time must feature gunny bits, stabby bits or explodey bits) could run for days but instead let’s just got on with the list that in no way denigrates the awesomeness of Die Hard, Terminator, The Bourne Films, Indy, etc. These are just my pick of action films with a little more…
For all the talk of the most “awesome action cast ever assembled”, The Expendables is in truth just the Stallone and Statham show. The closing quotation marks in the poster below should really be traded for an asterix containing the key “may Contain traces of Willis and Schwazenegger”. But off-cutting the disappointment of feeling slightly jipped once again by marketing bodies, The Expendables makes up for it in almost every other department. A throwback to old school action? Sir, yes sir. Men flying through the air riding on the back of big explosions? Affirmative. A man on fire being punched in the face in what can only be a homage to the thwarted Glasgow Airport Attacks? Aye and thrice aye.
And now, because it’s been a while, a quote from the Gospel of Hicks according to Owen. And yay Hicks did say, “I’ve noticed a certain anti-intellectualism going around this country; since about 1980, oddly enough…” and lo the people did realise that the 80′s sucked.
Sadly the people in Hollywood didn’t realise because the wave of nostalgia flooding through the projectors for that most decadent of decades is enough to make MC Hammer choke on his parachute pants. The A-Team, Karate Kid, Expendables, Predators, Hot Tub Time Machine, Pirahna, every single one churned out like a Soda Stream with no consideration of whether anybody wanted any of it.
I love you. I also love KFC. But this isn’t about my easy gratitude to readers of this site for giving me affirmation on my life or the amazing Colonel and his wonderful chicken, grease, salt combination, this is about the UK Film Council and it’s sad, premature demise.
Some of you may not know what the UKFC does. Some of you may know but not care. Some will be glad to see the back of, what some considered, an overly bureaucratic way of making movies. Some will already know and care deeply enough to have joined the Save The UKFC site) and filled in the petition.
For those that do not know, I’ll try to explain. For those that don’t care, I’ll try and persuade you that you should. For those glad it’s gone, maybe I can flip your opinion. For those signed up, well I’m preaching to the choir. But I do like to preach.
In a few months Facebook: The Movie hits cinemas. Now this sounds about as wank an idea as Robbie Williams replacing Noel in Oasis, but bear with us. Firstly it’s not called Facebook: The Movie but the much better sounding The Social Network based on the book by Ben Mezrich. Secondly it’s not about Facebook but rather the creation of Facebook and the surprisingly interesting tale of friends suing each other over who owns the rights and ultimately hating each others guts. Most noteworthy of all, it’s the new movie from David ‘Se7en, Fight Club, Zodiac‘ Fincher.
It’s also being scored by Nine Inch Nail‘s Trent Reznor and the trailer (which you can click on and watch above) features a Scala reworking of ‘Creep’ by Radiohead. Instead of tiredly listing rubbish wordplay based on Facebook vernacular, i.e. Owen ‘likes’ new Fincher movie, updating status to ‘chuffing excited’ or I’d like to ‘poke’ Justin Timberlake in the eye with something sharp, instead let’s use this as an excuse to look back on Radiohead’s back catalogue, as featured on the silver screen.
People often wonder how I pick the artists to interview about movies for ThisFilmIsON. Well, I mean, they might do. People wonder all kinds of stuff. Who are you to say they don’t? Now that that’s sorted I’m going to tell you. I go through my iTunes and whoever I’m enjoying listening to at the present moment, I send off an e-mail to their management and wait with baited breath. How happy, happy joyous I was to discover then that one half of Peggy Sue (one third if you count the drummer but who counts the drummer eh?!) by the name of Katy Young (see pic left) gone did got herself a degree in American Film.
It’s pure speculation on my part but I’m guessing that she might have a more insightful take on cinema than Bobby George did a couple of weeks back. Still, I wonder how her dart playing is? Incomparable I’d imagine. Whether Katy can throw an arrow or two, one thing is for certain, she’s an excellent musician, singer and judging by these film answers an awesome person to boot.
This Friday sees the release of the real would-be-sequel of Predator. We thought we’d have a look to see where the original stars have ended up. It would appear they’re all in one place. From the Predator Jungle to the Political one. Here’s a rundown of how the original Predator was a breeding ground for politics.
Arnold Schwarzenegger – (Republican)
The most famous star in both film and politics, The Governator first ran for election for the Governorship of California in 2003 in a (total) recall election. Winning the remainder of then Governor Gray Davis’s term (inator) Arnie was re-elected in 2006 for a full-term.
This year could see the Austrian Oak run for the United States Senate. The Presidency, however, is one step too far. Having not been born in the US of A, he is inelligable to run…unless he makes them change the constitution. If anyone could.
Hands up if you’re loving the summer so far. Those with their pinkies in the air will no doubt be those enjoying non-stop festival joy. Those that have their arms stapled to their sides will probably be English football fans.
Alternatively you could keep your arms down if you have even a fleeting love of anything remotely cinematic – because 2010, for cine-philes, has been a total stinker.
Fear not, though, celluloid-fanciers, for the summer is about to get saved. For Inception is almost here.
Blame the wonderful weather. Blame the fact that I hadn’t seen a movie in over a week. Blame that post-euphoric buzz of one of the greatest Glastonbury Festivals in living memory. Blame something because what I will write over the next few paragraphs needs an instant apology. Namely that the new Twilight film is actually okay.
In fact in the course of this review I will accentuate the positive of almost every aspect of the latest fangs and fancying flick. Not only because I believe it has taken too much of a pasting by overly cynical reactionaries (such as myself) but also because I know I’ll be pissing off more TwiHard haters by liking said movie, than TwiHard lovers by saying I hate it.
If that’s not the antithesis of good critiquing I don’t know what is.
