After a few trips to the States I have concluded that there are a number of cultural differences that I will never fully understand. Why do New Yorkers stand in the road when crossing the street? Why do Floridians have fruit with their bacon? And why the hell do they find Adam Sandler so funny?
Granted, there’s a certain juvenile charm about his early roles, Happy Gilmore and Airheads are tolerable and I’d even go as far as to say I enjoyed The Wedding Singer. But why oh why does the man who inflicted the likes of Click and Spanglish on the world, seem to have carte blanche to churn out whatever self indulgent tripe he wants? As you might expect, Grown Ups is another prime example of such tripe.
I’m not claiming I would behave any differently. In fact, if I had comparable financial backing I’d do the same and take all my mates to a log cabin where they were forced to pretend that I was the coolest living man and I’d probably also pay Salma Hayek to kiss me. That is pretty much all there is to Grown Ups.
The plot focuses on five old friends reunited under tragic circumstances, the death of their high school basketball coach. In a confusing but ever so kind gesture Adam Sandler’s ‘Hollywood’ agent Lenny rents a log cabin for his friends and families. What follows is a ham fisted voyage of self discovery in which everyone else learns a number of significant life lessons including but not exclusive to; how good Adam Sandler is at basketball, how Adam Sandler is in no way responsible for his children being arseholes, how it’s OK to be a dick to your friends as long as they’re poorer than you and how Kevin James is fat.
More baffling than anything else however, is how the project attracted the likes of Salma Hayek (Frida), Maria Bello (Thank You for Smoking) and Maya Rudolph (Away We Go).
That these three women are expected to play wifey to the likes of Sandler, James and Chris Rock respectively seems ludicrous to me. Hayek and Bello have certainly paid their dues and whilst Rudolph’s movie career is arguably less established she has already proven herself worthy of substantially better parts. By the way, if you’ve always wanted to see Maria Bello breast feeding a bird that has been squashed by Kevin James (Who is fat by the way) this may be the movie for you.
If not then you’ll probably find that you agree with me when I say that for a comedy Grown Ups is decidedly unfunny. Despite a twenty strong cast there isn’t really a single likeable character amongst them, a fact that really tarnishes the ‘buddy’ sentiment the film is trying to promote. If alternatively you thought Rob Schneider was overlooked by the Academy for his role in Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo then this may just be for you.
