Is Scott Pilgrim A Film For Wankers?

Upon coming home from watching Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World my housemate, colleague and (if he had the correct genitalia) would-be lover Joe succinctly and eloquently summed up the film thus; “Visually the film is stunning. 10 out of 10 for the look. 5 star quality, fight choreography. The problem is…Scott Pilgrim is a film for wankers.”

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This Bob-omb shell left me a little shook up. My diminutive friend’s opinion is usually bang on the money leaving me with a lose-lose situation. When watching Edgar Wright’s latest I’ll either be faced with the crushing disappointment of a film I’ve been looking forward to for a long time being a bit shit, or in the eyes of my good buddy I’ll be, “a wanker”.

Turns out it’s a little bit of both.

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Action With A Little More…

This weekend sees the release of action spectacular The Expendables. Truth be told it’s a more than adequate, enjoyable, fun, balls to the wall action movie. But nestling in that, rather high praise for Sly and co’s latest, is a derogatory word. Movie. Not film, movie. Action has been, and always will be, placed into the bracket of ‘movie-dom’ by people, well, people like me. Yet there are examples of pulse-racing, sweat producing, explosion-exploding films that have every right to be put on a par with their dramatic counterparts.

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Debates of what constitute a ‘film’ rather than a ‘movie’ (basically anything that a pretentious wanker like me can stroke their oversized beard too) and action (over 13% of the running time must feature gunny bits, stabby bits or explodey bits) could run for days but instead let’s just got on with the list that in no way denigrates the awesomeness of Die Hard, Terminator, The Bourne Films, Indy, etc. These are just my pick of action films with a little more…

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Going The Distance

If ever there was a genre that continually put its arse up for a kicking the ‘Rom-Com’ would be it. Whilst history denotes that when done well, romantic comedies can prove lucrative it does seem that the genre has become a dumping ground where churned out, gormless star vehicles go to die. Just see 2010’s The Back-Up Plan (Jennifer Lopez) and The Rebound (Catherine Zeta Jones) as evidence of this. As a result, when tasked with watching Going the Distance, another on screen outing for real life couple Drew Barrymore and Justin Long I was understandably unmoved. I was also wrong.
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The Expendables

For all the talk of the most “awesome action cast ever assembled”, The Expendables is in truth just the Stallone and Statham show. The closing quotation marks in the poster below should really be traded for an asterix containing the key “may Contain traces of Willis and Schwazenegger”. But off-cutting the disappointment of feeling slightly jipped once again by marketing bodies, The Expendables makes up for it in almost every other department. A throwback to old school action? Sir, yes sir. Men flying through the air riding on the back of big explosions? Affirmative. A man on fire being punched in the face in what can only be a homage to the thwarted Glasgow Airport Attacks? Aye and thrice aye.

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The ’80′s Suck! Why Won’t Hollywood Realise?

And now, because it’s been a while, a quote from the Gospel of Hicks according to Owen. And yay Hicks did say, “I’ve noticed a certain anti-intellectualism going around this country; since about 1980, oddly enough…” and lo the people did realise that the 80′s sucked.

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Sadly the people in Hollywood didn’t realise because the wave of nostalgia flooding through the projectors for that most decadent of decades is enough to make MC Hammer choke on his parachute pants. The A-Team, Karate Kid, Expendables, Predators, Hot Tub Time Machine, Pirahna, every single one churned out like a Soda Stream with no consideration of whether anybody wanted any of it.

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Knight and Day

Overall I consider myself a pretty well rounded individual but if (if!) I do have a significant character flaw it is in my unavoidable compulsion to defend Tom Cruise. I don’t even consider myself to be much of a fan of ‘the Cruiser’ but when you look at his performances in the likes of Rain Man, Jerry Maguire and Magnolia I challenge any one to deny Cruise’s occasional dalliances with excellence. Sadly however, for every Collateral there’s a Knight and Day.

Is that supposed to be Cameron Diaz?

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