The Liberal Democrats Talk Film

Years and years ago I saw a politics joke in, of all places, a film magazine. It goes something like this. At a political debate the main three parties are asked what the capital of France is. The Conservative denies ever going to France, and threatens to sue anybody who links him with anything French. The Labour candidate asks the question back, “The question isn’t what the capital of France is, but what we can do about the capital of France?” Finally the Liberal Democrat candidate is asked. He responds, “Paris. The capital of France is Paris. Hello is anyone listening the answer is Paris?”

lib dem

Not to endorse any political party at all (Of course we wouldn’t! – Ed) this joke always left me with the frustrated feeling of “But that guys got the answer, listen to him!” Of course we rarely listen to those who have the answer, but, well, perhaps this time. (Sidenote, my main reason for thinking ‘they’ may have the answer is quite simply taking money from very, very rich people to give to people who need it, just sounds like a very nice and necessary thing to do).

Or I may just have been swayed by Lib Dem Candidate Simon Wright’s favourite film of all time ever…

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Repo Men

Do you remember Virtua Fighter Kids, the spin-off game from the Sega classic? Well Jude Law looks just like a Virtua Fighter Kid. Seriously, if you ever get up close to him you’ll be amazed at just how out of proportion the mans head is to his tiny little body.

repo

While this quasi-disability hasn’t greatly impacted on his fairly successful career to date, it certainly stops him looking like a hard man. The makers of Repo Men really wants you to think of Jude Law as a hard man. The makers of Repo Men are very, very stupid.

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In Praise Of… Grace Kelly

The Victoria and Albert Museum in London is honouring Grace Kelly from April 17th to September 26th with an exhibition entitled Grace Kelly: Style Icon and here at This Film Is On we would also like to praise this screen icon.

Celebrity-Image-Grace-Kelly-2279-1.jpg picture by emskilou

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Who Would You Vote For?

You may have noticed that the suited, shouty people who live in a big house on the Thames have decided to call an election. Which is very annoying for people who like to watch BBCNews24 without throwing up into their laps.

politics

While our erstwhile leaders are churning out well-known song lyrics in order to gain our votes (“Don’t Stop Believing”, urged Gordon Brown, before David “I is One Of The People” Cameron started espousing the work of the cast of High School Musical), over in movie-land candidates are far more transparent.

Perhaps a little too transparent…

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The Wednesday Watch – Jagg Off

Continuing our Wednesday Watch, where we wander around the internet to find content that we think you’ll like, is a short film that may be one of the funniest 5 minutes you’ll see today but also may ruin your life.

Made by the comedy duo, ‘Evan and Gareth’, Jagg Off first hit the net a few years ago but if re-showing gets one more person ‘jaggering’ we at thisfilmison will be muchly happy.

Okay the ending may be a step into the absurd, but the sheer comedy timing of the Jagging is borderline genius. So without further ado, “Do Your Best Jagger!”

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Top Five On-screen Female Sporting Heroes

2010 will undoubtedly go down in history as the year the Academy grew a set and acknowledged the outstanding contribution of a female Director. Thankfully Kathryn Bigelow’s gender proved completely irrelevant as The Hurt Locker was far and away the standout film of 2009 making Hollywood hard hitter’s of all involved.

whip

The above sporting metaphor leads nicely into this week’s Top Five which is in honour of Drew Barrymore’s impressive directorial debut Whip It. When I was tasked with compiling a list of five On-Screen Female Sporting Heroes in tribute to the (almost) all conquering ‘Hurl Scouts’ I was unaware of just how difficult this would prove. I wracked my encyclopaedic brain for relevant movies for the best part of a week and only just managed to scrape together a satisfactory five which you will find documented bellow.

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Coming Soon-ish

More nuggets racing down Hollywood’s intestine towards the anus of your local cinema.

Xerxes

The creators of 300 Zak Snyder and Frank Miller are teaming up once again to educate the easily entertained in how history didn’t happen with the adaption of Miller’s graphic novel Xerxes, a prequel to their previous film.

xerxes

In reality Xerxes was a bearded Persian king who united the ancient armies of Africa, Asia, The Middle East and Europe to fight for him against the ancient Greeks. In Frank Miller’s world he’s an 8ft hermaphrodite who resembles the love child of Sinead O’Connor and Dhalsim from Street Fighter II.

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Alessi’s Ark Talk Film

There’s a common misconception, bandied about by my friends, that if a girl has a fringe and can sing I’ll automatically fall head over heels in love with them. This is not true. Saying that, from the first time I laid eyes on Alessi (nice fringe/great voice) I thought here’s something pretty special.

alessi

So special is she that when she requested to talk about two movies, instead of just the usual one, I immediately caved. I’d like to argue that this is because she picked two excellent choices but it’s probably down to her songwriting ability, incredible larynx and yes, choice of hair cut…

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Whip It

I don’t know, maybe I’m getting my period or something but for the entire duration of Whip It, a film about women’s roller derby, I was either welling up uncontrollably or swallowing with more regularity than a porn star in a vain attempt to stop myself fully blubbing. Then it dawned on me. I wasn’t bleeding from my imaginary vagina, I just go a big rubbery one for films where someone finds something that they truly love.

whip it

Something so amazingly true for the protagonist that everything else in their life starts to seem insignificant. Whether it be a job, a person, a hobby, a whatever, if someone latches onto something that makes their life complete I’ll be sobbing like a man whose just found out his imaginary vagina isn’t real enough to get him onto a roller derby team. A feeling best summed up by Little Miss Sunshine’s Dwayne, “Do what you love, and fuck the rest”.

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In Praise Of…Orson Welles

Last night saw the re-vamp of the ‘Comedy Roasts’ on Channel 4. The idea is to take a well-known talent and affectionately take the piss out of them. The three talents in question are Bruce Forsyth, Sharon Osbourne and Christ Tarrant. If, like me, you can see a glaring error there (i.e only the first name has any talent) you may want to check out the original roasts. Available ‘here’ and ‘here’.

orson

If you watch them all, one thing you’ll note, apart from that celebrity is now as easy to achieve as herpes, is that Orson Welles is an absolute hoot. He also made some movies.

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