ThisFilmIsOn

When I first saw the trailer for Dan in Real Life I, like others, couldn’t help but make Little Miss Sunshine comparsions. It appeared to deal with dysfunctional families, it was a comedy drama, it had Steve Carell in it. After seeing the film a fairer comparison is Garden State meets Meet the Parents. The end result sits somewhere just beneath both in terms of success but will keep a smile on your face and may give you a few laugh out loud moments before the end.

The titular Dan, is a widower (take note P.S I Love You, this is how you deal with the loss of a loved one) looking after his three ever changing daughters. Dan meets and wooes Marie (Juliette Binoche) in one of those ridiculously amazing meetings that mainly happen in Woody Allen films. Sadly for Dan, Marie has just started dating his brother Mitch (Dane Cook). Dan only discovers this when trapped in a holiday retreat with his entire family. The family, by the way, are the most twee family in the world. Excercising together, engaging in heated crossword competitions, etc. I’m not saying this is a bad thing, its a lovely ideal to aim for but I’m pretty sure the title mentions Real Life. Maybe its an American thing.

Steve Carell is always watchable and continues that here. Even after the cinematic diarrhoea that was Evan Almighty I don’t remember anyone coming out and saying how awful he was. When Dan’s jealousy bubbles, Steve plays it with just the right amount of bitterness and sadness. Juliette Binoche does a great job with a very rare commodity, a well written female role. However the rest of the cast is let down by poor characterisation. This is typified by Emily Blunts afterthought of a role. As soon as she turns up, you know how she will fit perfectly into the happy ending.

And that may be the biggest let down of the film, an ending where everything is wrapped up so neatly. It may have even been ignored had it not been for the ‘happily ever after’ credits. You know the ones where people dance around in wedding dresses. Credits for those people who need closure like diabetics need insulin. A fitting end to the review then a reference to a dangerous level of sweetness.

A good friend has just pointed out how hard the undertaking of watching every movie is going to be considering such pearls as The Sex and the City film, First Sunday and The Bank Job are all released this year. Plus my natural aversion to all things bloody and guty (it is a word, look it up) all translates to me becoming half the man I was by this time next year.

But this week we have some potential crackers in the shape of Lust, Caution, Charlie Wilsons War and the less crackery (thats a word too) Dan in Real Life.

So in celebration of all things exquiste and lame here are my films of last year. There not necessarily the best films or worst films just the ones I enjoyed/hated the most. And they’re not in any particular order.

Best
Zodiac

Bridge to Terrabithia
The Bourne Ultimatum
Hot Fuzz
Knocked Up
Atonement
Once

Worst
Dreamgirls
Outlaw
Magicians
Evan Almighty
Hannibal Rising

Yeah, yeah where is so and so, and that film sucks, Owen you blow, etc, etc. Eat me. Oh you completely agree with me on everything and plan to give me lots of money for my opinions, good. Thats made me very happy.

Q. How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. It doesn’t matter they’re only worried about karaoke, shoes and a deep dicking.

Offensive isn’t it? But with less than a year until a female might be the most important person on the planet, (I doubt it but Barrack is gonna need an Obamamobile to stay one step ahead of the rednecks) Hollywood is still making films that suggest sex with strangers and shoes can save the day.

Hilary ‘I am a great actress but what I really want to do is mainstream films’ Swank plays Holly, a girl stuck in a rut, bitching about life to her husband Gerry (Gerard ‘I thought he was Irish until I saw this film’ Butler). Luckily for Holly, Gerry dies. Harsh I know but its the best thing for her really, now she can discover herself and make the aformentioned shoes. This apathy for Gerry and Hollys relationship is triggered by a terrible opening scene where the couple argue about money, babies and all those things that are designed to make the audience go ‘yeah i worry about those things too, she’s just like me’ but instead leave you thinking ‘chill the fuck out Swank!’

The swiftness that the director wants you to want Holly to move on is astonishing. At her husbands funeral Lisa ‘maybe women shouldn’t have equal rights after all’ Kudrow is desperately trying to have sex with anything that moves (thankfully Gerry has been cremated so no involuntary spasms to attract said nympho). This appears to be written in just so Harry ‘I can’t think of a funny middle name to give him’ Connick Jr can make eyes at the recently bereaved Holly without seeming like such a sleaze. It doesn’t work.

Its also one of those films that doesn’t so much underestimate the audiences intelligence but dangles a rattle in front of the viewers face and says coochie coo. For example, “Gerry says I have to go on holiday”, “Cool where are we going?” Cut To: Rolling hills and Celtic music. Where might we possibly be, considering Gerry is from Ireland? Still don’t know. Don’t panic, the director chooses to put IRELAND in big Fecking letters on the screen just to give you that extra nudge you braindead simpleton. Why not add some dancing leprachauns too you plum.

I know I said this film was bad in my first blog without having seen it and yes I’m not a woman (most of the time) but it didn’t need to be quite so awful. The premise is actually quite sweet and I like Hilary Swank. That may be why this misfire of a movie affected me so much.
Please Avoid.

So here it is, Review number one, my opinion spilled out in electronic form on the off chance it might be read in the future and I be hailed as a king and bought back to life using technology that we couldn’t even dream of yet. Yeah The Kite Runner, its good, I’d recommend it…
Will that do. No. Well then, first a little about the film.

Now living in America, Amir (Khalid Abdalla) receives a phone call from his native Afghanistan. This call triggers a reflection on his childhood and most importantly his relationship with his best friend Hassan. This call spurs him onto a journey of atonement and redemption.

This is all I’ll say for the plot and I urge everyone else to skip the trailer and read as little as possible about the film. Too many websites and reviews have the third act as the plot outline, which kinda spoils any element of surprise in the first two thirds. I was lucky enough to go in cold to this film, knowing only that it was directed by Marc Forster (Finding Neverland, Stranger Than Fiction) and based on a highly praised novel.

The film itself is ‘worthy.’ Now ‘worthy’ films fall into two categories those that people like because they are well made and those that people like because they tackle hard subjects and go a bit slow. Thankfully The Kite Runner is firmly in the former camp. While it does deal with some issues, namely Middle Eastern Politics, that will have the chin stroking brigade (I confess I am an occasional member of this brigade) kept happy, the reason you should see this film is for the memorable characters and their relationships.

As the two children torn apart, not by war as the trailer suggests, but by a horrendous act and true cowardice, Zekeria Ebrahimi and Ahmed Khan Mahmidzada are exceptionally good. Without such good performances at the start the film wouldn’t take off (I’m proud of that word play so its staying). But the heart of the film is Amirs father Baba (Homayoun Ershadi). Easily one of the the most noble yet flawed characters since The Lives of Others Stasi-Hauptmann Gerd Wiesler.

It is this two dimensionality present in the cast that makes The Kite Runner such good cinema. It is only in the last act which becomes disappointingly formulaic that you remember that it is an American film after all and so cliches and implausabilities do rear their heads. This doesn’t mean you won’t be moved by the end, I’ve never cried at a kite taking off before now, and doubt I will again. It just means that despite what has come before, as a whole, its not a bona fide classic.

Hello and welcome to Confessions of a Projectionist. This is a UK website dedicated to up to the minute, completely biased film reviews for the year 2008. (more…)